A new start with religion?

I’ve been thinking about religion a lot lately. I grew up Baptist, was baptized and considered myself a Christian as a young teen. As I grew up, I found myself not agreeing with a lot of things the church said and really wondering if there was actually a god at all. I’ve considered myself agnostic, bordering on atheist for a while now. But…

My husband wants to go to church. He thinks it would be good for the boys and a way for us to feel like more of a part of the community. I’ve been very reluctant about it, but finally agreed. As it came time to go, I actually found myself getting excited about the prospect, which has really surprised me. I told him I wanted to try an Episcopal church because my liberal views aren’t going to change, and if I am going to go to church, it has to be a liberal one. (And there aren’t that many liberal choices in our small Kentucky town.)

So we went a couple of weeks ago. We walked in to the church and were immediately greeted by someone. Several people came to introduce themselves to us. We took our seats and waited for the service to begin. The service was of course very different than anything I was accustomed to, having really only been to Baptist churches. It seems to be more of a ceremony of sorts. It was hard to concentrate though because Baby Boy B was restless, wanting to run around, and Baby Boy K started crying (whining) to go home. We only lasted 30 minutes.

I was disappointed, but not ready to give it up. I can’t believe I am actually pushing this! I e-mailed the church through their website, explaining why we left and asking about their thoughts about children. The pastor (a woman) ended up calling me and we had a very nice conversation. She said she loves to see kids in the service, and their restlessness didn’t bother her at all, but they do have a nursery if we would rather do that.

So I think we will. I’m not sure if I’ll ever become a true believer in God or Jesus Christ. But at least at this church, they don’t scream at you every week, telling you that you have to do x, y and z or you’re going to hell, and women must be submissive to their husbands and not have any kind of leadership role in the church. I don’t mean to offend any Baptists out there, but that was just my experience growing up.

I’ve been very critical of organized religion, especially Christianity, and I still have my qualms about it all. But since I feel like they (religious folk) need to have open minds, then I need to do the same.